We learned about the death of Marie Tritignant at the hands of her boyfriend (singer of French rock band Noir Desir.) The fact that the fronts man of a band named Black Desire shall beat her girlfriend to death bears a brutal novelesque coherence.
We were all shocked by the news. We were in the countryside, burning to cinders in the sun, close to a river. In the shade, between shots, we commented the news. The sound engineer had worked with her a year ago.
I saw Marie Tritignant in person just once, on the occasion of some awards ceremony, and became absorbed by the graveness in her face. At times, Gael characterized as Zahara (his second role in the film) resembles her. The same melancholic eyes, full of determination. Eyes that dwell a place you ignore and cannot share. It is not only his look that reminds me of her but also the clear line in his jaw. However, as a transvestite Gael definitely reminds me of Julia Roberts -the same huge smiling ship-shaped mouth floating on her face. When a man transforms into a woman many an unexpected woman appears on his face, apart from mothers and sisters, of course.
Zahara, Gael's feminine character, shares her fatal fate with Marie. They both die in the hands of men's violence. The scarce ultimate fortune of Marie and Zahara brings to mind the title of the only novel I have read since I live in "Bad Education".

Javier Cámara Click on the photo to extend it.

"An Unfortunate Woman" by Richard Brautigan does not deal with the reasons why the woman in the title puts her life to an end. It rather entertains counting (accounting, I would say) every minimum existential event he lives as inexistence. This is the only book I have read in these nine weeks of shooting. The author purchased a 60-page notebook in a Chinese store in San Francisco and decided to write up all of them. To this end he dedicated several months of a life which would not last many more (on his own volition).
Even though such detail may seem sinister, this is a true treasure. I do not remember so much life reflected on so few pages, 120. In such a state of absolute alienation as mine, Brautigan's story became the perfect reading. "An Unfortunate Woman" is to be read in small doses, no more than 3-page instalments, and given my inability to concentrate on anything apart from the shooting such dosage turns ideal.

Javier Cámara and Zahara Click on the photo to extend it.

The few people I see outside the shooting ask me if I am happy. I never know what to answer to that question, neither now nor in relation to the fourteen previous films. It is not a matter of self-confidence or uncertainty, but rather an absolute lack of perspective.
However, I do anticipate things. I know for example that we have already achieved wonderful scenes, which I am so proud of. I also know that some I do not like that much. But this is always the same; I am deep in the stage where I shall demand perfection, and taking any less would be an act of cowardice. But I also know that once the film is finished time and common sense shall turn my perfectionism into possibilism. I have no choice!
I am ahead enough as to anticipate also that "Bad education" is going to provide with wonderful surprises. I believe it shall become the film with the highest amount of revelations, the most terrific being (as in the case of Agrado in "All About My Mother," Candela in "Women," etc) Javier Cámara -notwithstanding he was already revealed in my latest film. His artwork in "Bad education" is hilarious and bears incredible accuracy and richness. He plays a "witty, kinky, acid, junky, dear drag, a close friend of Zahara's, the feminine character played by Gael. Just like evil maids in classic works, she is the one that finally wins the day.
Her name is Paquito, or Paca, and shall become Javier's undoing, because he is definitely going to be asked to repeat the character over and over again. In the light of his intuition I hope he discards the temptation.
All male and female admirers of Gael G. Bernal won't be disappointed by the capacity and beauty of the Mexican star.

The equipment of make up dressing Zahara Click on the photo to extend it.

Other revelations: Lluis Homar and Daniel Giménez Cacho. No beginners, I know, but they both represent a true revelation to me. In the particular case of Lluis Homar, he thrashes the idols in his generation in an amazing, toughest and complex role which demands as much accuracy as sensibility, zero sense of risk, and generosity in great numbers. Meanwhile Daniel, what to say, he seems more British than Mexican. By this I mean that behind his incendiary look he hides the ability and restraint of the British school. He even reminds me of Ralph Fiennes, when Fiennes is well.
Fele Martínez looks like a different person, a different actor. He looks good. Incisive, adventurous, generous and cruel. And I am in stitches with him. There is a little bit of me in every character, but his (a filmmaker) represents me a bit further.
Fran Boira shall also reveal his self, although no one is going to recognise him dressed in everyday clothes. However, I decline to elaborate on this character, I want it to be a secret till the release.
Alberto Ferreiro is "out of this world" handsome, and he does elaborate on the look and tenderness expressed in "Soldados de Salamina."
But I think this film also witnesses the birth of two extremely fruitful young actors, children Nacho Pérez and Raúl García Forneiro. I am not a children director, but things have run smooth with these two. I treated them like adults. I told them what their roles were about and gave them directions on how to play as veterans, relaxing neither language nor concepts. By the time they are grown enough to watch the film I hope they are proud of their debut. I am already.
We still have two or three weeks ahead of us. This shall be a long film, some two hours long. Before we finish with it, I want to say thanks to the crew for their mood and dedication. And I want to declare my love for José Luis Alcaine, Cinematographer. As I said, we have not finished yet, but the work of José Luis Alcaine is horrific, a master class. While we were preparing the shooting I hinted at the type of light I wanted, but the miraculous palette where he mixes and produces the crystal darkness of "Bad Education" belongs to him. He came up with it and I shall always be grateful for that.

Pedro Almodóvar (August 29, 2003)